Friday, August 31, 2007


Did you ever say you'd do something you really didn't feel like doing just because you can't say no? This is the story of my life. I avoid disappointing people. Especially friends. Can't do it knowingly. I just can't. Unfortunately, this means I do a lot of favors that really don't work for me---but I say I will do them, all the time mumbling to myself that I just should of said nicely that I couldn't. The problem is, I feel like I need to have an excellent excuse for saying no. When I don't, I just feel obligated.
The favor I am doing now, is really no big deal, it just takes time commitment, and a little effort to remember to do it a few times a day. I don't want to elaborate more, just because I wonder if the person I am doing the favor for will someday read this blog (unlikely, but you never know) and then I'd feel terrible about her figuring out this was about her favor. AND-it really isn't about HER favor is more about how while I was thinking about her favor, I just realized that I do this way too often. I am more concerned about hurting someone's feelings, or making life more inconvenient for them, or just being a bad friend, that i end up doing a bunch of things that cause my own plans to be botched.
I am not sure if this makes me a nice person, or just a pushover. Truth be told, I know nothing will change any time soon. Because realistically--this is my personality. I have always been this way....I don't see myself ever finding it easy to turn down a request for help. And I am not sure I'd want to. It just doesn't seem right to say no to someone asking for help. I guess I am just shocked by how often people ask me.

Having said this.....please do not take this as a plea for you not to ask me for a favor!! Most of the time favors don't bother me. I want to help my friends, I really do. In fact, I think the only reason I am frustrated right now, is because my period is due soon, and I am a grouch! Ah, the joys of hormones.


deanna said...

Ditto! My husband is always saying to me, "Just say no!" or "You're too busy!" But I totally know this feeling. Thanks for writing it so I don't have to! :-)

Kathryn said...

Maybe I'm more selfish than you two. I just know that if I spread myself too thin, I will have nothing left for my family. Everyone has a different breaking point, so I guess it's trying to maintain a balance that you personally can live with. Good luck!