Monday, June 21, 2010

Must Be Summer--Time For Relaxation....

Could it be that I am finally writing on my blog again? Must be summertime.... when I am supposed to have more minutes in my day to contemplate life. I guess I do--kind of.

I have been off from school for 16 days so far. Time is flying by. In those 16 days, I have done a whole lot of catching up with life. Making and going to appointments, filling out paperwork, trying to get a handle on some chores around the house.....but my list keeps growing! Seriously, I feel like I am constantly drowning in "to do's".

Last night, i was up from 4-5:30am just trying to shut off my brain. Sadly, I felt a bit like I was having one of my high anxiety moments. The gazillion "to do's" mixed with worries about Ben beginning his senior year and worried we were not prepared for that, and just generally feeling overwhelmed about what the coming school year would bring (me having classes start up again & having a high-stress placement for my job).....feeling big-time stressed and out of control. ALL on some random night in June!

I prayed a lot for God to quiet my crazy frantic thoughts. I knew I was letting them take over my peaceful night's rest. I tried so hard to just shut my brain off.

When I woke up to the alarm clock at 6:45 this morning to wake Ben for summer school--I put my feet on the ground feeling unrested and concerned about how I could best accomplish things on my "list". More than ever, I would like to just relax a little. Especially because I know what the end of August brings. I will have to hit the new school year running. I will have NO downtime until Christmas break--and I know that will feel too short.

I am telling myself to take everything one day at a time.... I know I need to. But how is it that one relaxes in the midst of so much to do? (Without feeling guilty, that is....)

My goal today is to cross things off my list, and to feel good about what I DID accomplish, instead of what I didn't. fit time in for a cup of tea.

We'll see how the day unfolds.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Being Stretched

So, life around here has been super busy.

Life is always super busy..... but right now, it is even more so. Mainly, because I have gone back to school. And you know what? Even though I am enjoying it (well-- everything but the papers and presentations....), it is TIRING! I don't know who I think I am to go back to school while I work almost full-time, teach Sunday School, and juggle the mom and wife responsibilities.
I have been going to bed late every night, my head is swimming with new information, and also the things I am trying not to forget.

I am proud of myself for doing it--but at the same time I question whether or not I am putting too much on my plate. I don't feel I am all that great at juggling things. I end up letting balls drop somewhere. (everywhere?) I am hoping and praying I will not fall apart before I make it through.

I don't mind being stretched--as long as I snap back. I am trying to not get stretched out during the stretching process.....

So I ask that you all pray for me. That I will be able to sustain this busy schedule and the demands on me, without letting the people in my life feel like I am neglecting them. It is a tough order.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!!

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice. ~Meister Eckhart

Today, I have a heart full of thankfulness...
For the Lord, My God, has blessed me beyond measure.

Today, the day of Thanksgiving....I am hearing people all around me express their thankfulness. I think it is wonderful that a day has been set aside in our country to do that. But, it also makes me aware of the many days that go by that thankfulness is not expressed.

And so Lord, I pray, that You let me not forget to express my praise and humble gratitude for Your great provision in everything on a DAILY basis. Let my heart rejoice in Your great mercies ALWAYS.

YOU are the giver of the many blessings I receive, and the creator of all that I have in my life.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and may your heart be full of praise and gratitude,

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I am a copy cat

So....loved the signature on Dawn's blog (older, high achieving, loved sister) so I copied the idea.
Now I have a cool siggy too! Thanks, Dawn!

my older sister

My sister puts me to shame. Seriously.
I have been doing my blog for quite some time. It seems I go through waves of posting and then not posting. I may go a month with 20 posts, and then I will go three months with just 2 posts. My posts are random, and most likely fairly boring. I know this because, after a couple of years doing this thing.....I still only have a few followers. AND....they are family. Or very close friends who want to be nice.

Anyway--my sister......
yeah--what you need to know about her is, she does everything well. She was one hard act to follow growing up, I tell you. You know, excellent grades, scholarships, leadership type skills, social, pretty, popular in school and our youth group.....AND (some nerve....) totally loveable to boot. I remember many times wanting to hate her, just because unfortunately all of her talents just stressed my own weaknesses to me. But, hating her just wasn't an option. I loved her too much. And for the most part, she was always rooting for me.

Fast forward to us as adults. She still does everything well. Still has better taste, still has no problems making friends, still is looked up to by many, still pretty, still sweet, still very loved by me. I am okay with not doing everything as well as her. It is an accepted fact of life for me. And....I venture to say, I may even possibly do some (although definitely not many....) things better than her....although, I am not sure what those things are yet. :0)

Blogging is not one of them. She has become quite good at it! She naturally made friends in blogland, and has managed to find followers that aren't family, or close friends. WOW! I am impressed. Truly. She writes about important things, and random things, and is able to sound like herself, and make me smile, laugh and cry.

Her blog is a good read! I encourage you to read it if you don't already. The link to it is in the sidebar of my blog to the right. It is called "theGoodlife". I'd put a link right here in my post if I knew how, but I don't. (Of course, my older sister knows how to do that also....maybe she can teach me sometime.) And while I am on the topic of sisters who blog, I should tell you that my younger sister has a wonderful blog too....."beebabble" in that same list of blogs to the right. She doesn't post as much (like me)--but when she does, it is something worth reading, for sure. (and Kerry....I hope you know that you are amazing, too. SO amazing. I love you beyond words, and you are a wonderful, talented, and beautiful person. For some reason this post just went in the direction of following in the footsteps of an achieving older sister.) :0)

Aren't I blessed? Not everyone has such talent and sweetness in their families. I am truly thankful.

AND....I will try to work on my blogging skills.

Sunday, August 2, 2009


"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions, with all kinds of prayers and requests."
Ephesians 6:16

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

More than you need to know...

I just made a terrible realization this morning (EARLY this 6am when I should have been sleeping soundly and sweetly--like a baby). It is something I hesitate to write on my blog, considering it is of a fairly sensitive nature. BUT- then I remember that most likely it will only be my family that reads this entry, and possibly a couple of close friends...

(I would like to interrupt this rambling to give a shout out to my THREE "followers"....THANK make me feel that I am writing to someone here.)

Anyway, back to the story...

So, I wake up with a jolt this morning--you know what I mean, one minute of pure sleeping bliss, and the next minute you find yourself in a nauseous state because your subconscious did some thinking while you were unaware....and BAM! the thoughts hit you like a ton of bricks?? Ever had one of those moments? Well, I had one this morning.

I have been trying to plan a summer vacation for our family since like forever. I started way back in the winter--during those cold and gray days, when the thoughts of a sunshiny tomorrow are so needed. We started talking about going on a Disney Cruise. They were having a FABULOUS special going a summer cruise, and kids sail for free. The price would literally be cut by thousands of dollars. We dreamed of tropical places, warm sun, and family bonding. Then sadly, we had to let that dream go, as we realized that it was very possible that a specific child of ours could possibly have a summer commitment (read: unwanted summer school class) that would make it impossible to go this year. (How many times can the word "possible" be used in a sentence?--WOW.)

So, moving on...

I then got it in my head, that if we couldn't enjoy a relaxing cruise and tropical paradise....we could at least go frolic in the ocean. Our last beach themed vacation was wonderful and peaceful and enjoyed by the whole family. (Even the more difficult to please teenager...). I played with multiple ideas of destinations, all based on the beach we could relax on the days not spent at an amusement park, or sight-seeing.
Unfortunately, our summer became less than predictable, with Jake's soccer schedule stretching much further than we expected. (An honor and accomplishment for him, that we did not want to squash.) Which took us straight into July without a week to spare, except August. (Actually, something has been scheduled then, too...Jake's regular soccer commitments....but we have chosen to ignore them mostly this time, because THIS FAMILY NEEDS A VACATION, DARN IT!)

Finally, just a few days ago, we settled on a more do-able vacation in the time that has been alloted to us. We are planning to go to Michigan and Wisconsin. All activities focused around things near Lake Michigan. We will do an amusement park, water park, dune buggy the sand dunes, spend a couple days on the lake beach, take a 4-hour ferry "cruise" across the lake to Wisconsin, spend some time at a State Fair, and finally end up with Jake's tourney in Milwaukee. (Didn't think we'd escape soccer completely did you?)

Let me share a few of the photos of sights and experiences we hope to have on our trip.....

It feels soooo good to have a plan. To have a week set aside for family togetherness, on a lovely location, enjoying the sights, the water.......


----this is when my ugly thoughts from deep sleep popped up, seemingly out of nowhere-----

Guess what? In my frantic search for ANY week that we did not have important commitments that would interfere with a vacation.....I just chose the one week that had nothing written down on the days in my calendar. (Of course, since then things HAVE popped up, but like I said we chose to ignore this...). My subconscious knew something was not right with that week though....and it screamed the "wrongness" to me when I least expected it.

I have bad news to report to myself.
This designated week... that is supposed to be heavenly....will be a little tainted. Because, in the early morning hours this morning, I made the ugly realization that I. will. have. my. period. NOOOOOOOOO!!
What is the big deal, you ask??

Well, for one thing, my period is a monster. It is unpredictable. It comes with a vengence.....and sometimes prevents me from leaving my house--for a couple of days-- for pure fear I will have a terrible and humiliating accident. On most months, I battle this awful fear with "doubling up" the protection. In MOST cases, I make it through okay. But, how, oh how, do you "double up" in a swim suit? We will be spending most days in swimsuits....waterpark, beaches, tubing. I am totally NOT comfortable with going "without" on those beginning days. No way....can't do it.

What is a mom to do?? I sooooo wanted to participate in all of these activities. I wanted to bond with the family with experiencing the same things as they were. I was even willing to go down the giant water funnel at the waterpark. I want to be a FUN mom--not one that sits and watches while everyone else experiences things first hand. ARGH, ARGH, and DOUBLE ARGH!!

Okay, deep breath.

Will you please pray with me that maybe I will get things rolling a few days early this month? (If this could happen, I would be past the scary stuff before we need to leave.) Or how about it showing up late?? That would work too. Anything, I will take anything.

Sigh....the joys of being woman.