I just made a terrible realization this morning (EARLY this morning....like 6am when I should have been sleeping soundly and sweetly--like a baby). It is something I hesitate to write on my blog, considering it is of a fairly sensitive nature. BUT- then I remember that most likely it will only be my family that reads this entry, and possibly a couple of close friends...
(I would like to interrupt this rambling to give a shout out to my THREE "followers"....THANK YOU....you make me feel that I am writing to someone here.)
Anyway, back to the story...
So, I wake up with a jolt this morning--you know what I mean, one minute of pure sleeping bliss, and the next minute you find yourself in a nauseous state because your subconscious did some thinking while you were unaware....and BAM! the thoughts hit you like a ton of bricks?? Ever had one of those moments? Well, I had one this morning.
I have been trying to plan a summer vacation for our family since like forever. I started way back in the winter--during those cold and gray days, when the thoughts of a sunshiny tomorrow are so needed. We started talking about going on a Disney Cruise. They were having a FABULOUS special going on....book a summer cruise, and kids sail for free. The price would literally be cut by thousands of dollars. We dreamed of tropical places, warm sun, and family bonding. Then sadly, we had to let that dream go, as we realized that it was very possible that a specific child of ours could possibly have a summer commitment (read: unwanted summer school class) that would make it impossible to go this year. (How many times can the word "possible" be used in a sentence?--WOW.)
So, moving on...
I then got it in my head, that if we couldn't enjoy a relaxing cruise and tropical paradise....we could at least go frolic in the ocean. Our last beach themed vacation was wonderful and peaceful and enjoyed by the whole family. (Even the more difficult to please teenager...). I played with multiple ideas of destinations, all based on the beach we could relax on the days not spent at an amusement park, or sight-seeing.
Unfortunately, our summer became less than predictable, with Jake's soccer schedule stretching much further than we expected. (An honor and accomplishment for him, that we did not want to squash.) Which took us straight into July without a week to spare, except one....in August. (Actually, something has been scheduled then, too...Jake's regular soccer commitments....but we have chosen to ignore them mostly this time, because THIS FAMILY NEEDS A VACATION, DARN IT!)
Finally, just a few days ago, we settled on a more do-able vacation in the time that has been alloted to us. We are planning to go to Michigan and Wisconsin. All activities focused around things near Lake Michigan. We will do an amusement park, water park, dune buggy the sand dunes, spend a couple days on the lake beach, take a 4-hour ferry "cruise" across the lake to Wisconsin, spend some time at a State Fair, and finally end up with Jake's tourney in Milwaukee. (Didn't think we'd escape soccer completely did you?)
Let me share a few of the photos of sights and experiences we hope to have on our trip.....
It feels soooo good to have a plan. To have a week set aside for family togetherness, on a lovely location, enjoying the sights, the water.......
----this is when my ugly thoughts from deep sleep popped up, seemingly out of nowhere-----
Guess what? In my frantic search for ANY week that we did not have important commitments that would interfere with a vacation.....I just chose the one week that had nothing written down on the days in my calendar. (Of course, since then things HAVE popped up, but like I said we chose to ignore this...). My subconscious knew something was not right with that week though....and it screamed the "wrongness" to me when I least expected it.
I have bad news to report to myself.
This designated week... that is supposed to be heavenly....will be a little tainted. Because, in the early morning hours this morning, I made the ugly realization that I. will. have. my. period. NOOOOOOOOO!!
What is the big deal, you ask??
Well, for one thing, my period is a monster. It is unpredictable. It comes with a vengence.....and sometimes prevents me from leaving my house--for a couple of days-- for pure fear I will have a terrible and humiliating accident. On most months, I battle this awful fear with "doubling up" the protection. In MOST cases, I make it through okay. But, how, oh how, do you "double up" in a swim suit? We will be spending most days in swimsuits....waterpark, beaches, tubing. I am totally NOT comfortable with going "without" on those beginning days. No way....can't do it.
What is a mom to do?? I sooooo wanted to participate in all of these activities. I wanted to bond with the family with experiencing the same things as they were. I was even willing to go down the giant water funnel at the waterpark. I want to be a FUN mom--not one that sits and watches while everyone else experiences things first hand. ARGH, ARGH, and DOUBLE ARGH!!
Okay, deep breath.
Will you please pray with me that maybe I will get things rolling a few days early this month? (If this could happen, I would be past the scary stuff before we need to leave.) Or how about it showing up late?? That would work too. Anything, I will take anything.
Sigh....the joys of being woman.