Monday, June 21, 2010

Must Be Summer--Time For Relaxation....

Could it be that I am finally writing on my blog again? Must be summertime.... when I am supposed to have more minutes in my day to contemplate life. I guess I do--kind of.

I have been off from school for 16 days so far. Time is flying by. In those 16 days, I have done a whole lot of catching up with life. Making and going to appointments, filling out paperwork, trying to get a handle on some chores around the house.....but my list keeps growing! Seriously, I feel like I am constantly drowning in "to do's".

Last night, i was up from 4-5:30am just trying to shut off my brain. Sadly, I felt a bit like I was having one of my high anxiety moments. The gazillion "to do's" mixed with worries about Ben beginning his senior year and worried we were not prepared for that, and just generally feeling overwhelmed about what the coming school year would bring (me having classes start up again & having a high-stress placement for my job).....feeling big-time stressed and out of control. ALL on some random night in June!

I prayed a lot for God to quiet my crazy frantic thoughts. I knew I was letting them take over my peaceful night's rest. I tried so hard to just shut my brain off.

When I woke up to the alarm clock at 6:45 this morning to wake Ben for summer school--I put my feet on the ground feeling unrested and concerned about how I could best accomplish things on my "list". More than ever, I would like to just relax a little. Especially because I know what the end of August brings. I will have to hit the new school year running. I will have NO downtime until Christmas break--and I know that will feel too short.

I am telling myself to take everything one day at a time.... I know I need to. But how is it that one relaxes in the midst of so much to do? (Without feeling guilty, that is....)

My goal today is to cross things off my list, and to feel good about what I DID accomplish, instead of what I didn't. fit time in for a cup of tea.

We'll see how the day unfolds.